Relationships are for sure something painful. If you stand alone, you suffer. If you're with someone, you might as well suffer one day or an other. The reason why I didn't wrote a single word on this shitty blog since what seemed for ever was a girl I dated and then loved. She was from the upper-class and I was still a punk in my heart. She brought me nothing but pain in the end, and despite all the shit I went through I still believe in what punk gave me. That girl broke my heart like no other before, but even in the hardest days I never lost the will to fight. I never forgot where I come from and the music that made my life something more than just blind consumption. As a cathartic way to end things with this girl in my head six months later, I felt it was good to share with you people the records I listened the most during those awful days.
Fuck the System - THE EXPLOITED (2003)
The day I was dumped I was listening for some days to Dritte Wahl's 'Delikat' when I received this text telling me it was over. My first reflex was to call her, just for meeting someone cold as fuck and who had clearly no intention to tell me what was really going on. I threw my phone to the closest wall, I was so sick, I just got back to the tunes that shaped my shitty youth : the Exploited embodied anger, and I was fucking angry. This record is one of my favorite ones (here, my very first article in french). For nearly a month I only listened to this fucking scottish band. A violent dirty punk sound, dumb lyrics about fucking a lot of things or about how much we hate the bourgeoisie and all the shit it conveys, perfect ! Was I someone disturbed, full of negative feelings, coming from a broken family ? So be it ! Wattie had a lot to say about his ex-wife on this one, with tracks as 'Why are you doing this to me ?', 'You are a fucking bastard' or the gorgeous 'Was it me' which is definitely the best Exploited song. The day they came in my shitty homtown, the circle was full. I was finally free from her, just as I was free from my first love the first time I saw them. So thanks Wattie !
Jomsviking - AMON AMARTH (2017)
If you read this shitty blog, you'd probably know death metal ain't really my cup of tea. To be honest I listen from times to times some metal, and I hung out a lot with metalheads during the years I fucked no one (coincidence ? I don't think so...), but come on... death metal is generally speaking pretty lame. Yeah I know, it's technical blah blah blah, come on, fuck this shit, listen to real trash like Green Day, dildos ! I got bored to death with this kind of metal, but one of the few bands I respect in this trend, along with the almighty Bolt Thrower or Entombed, is Amon Amarth. Yep, the death metal ultimate pop stars, only second to Arch Enemy. Sure, this band uses Vikingxplotation 'til nausea, but it kinda always works on me. I cant help, I love viking stuff. Death, destruction, Ragnarok, Wotan, raping christian villages and burning christian women (or was it the contrary already ?), do we need more ? Way better than their previous pompous record, too close from the old 80s german heavy metal I got fed up with as a kiddo, but still less good than their mastepiece 'Twilight of the thunder God', 'Jomsviking has some pretty solid tracks and a quite good story... about a guy who loved a girl and now is looking for revenge. Be it inspirational ('Way of Vikings'), sadly beautiful ('One thousand burning arrows', my official relationship funeral anthem) or deeply epic ('Back on norther shores'), this is a fucking great record, with a perfect production, a very good technical level for both drums and guitars, nice 80s heavy solos. Please just don't mind the part with Doro.
Lunch.Drunk.Love - BOWLING FOR SOUP (2013)
I spent the first month crying like a bitch in my room and filling my heart with patriarcal will to go on, while seeing my former GF 5 days per week (we work at the same place, great innit ?). Then I decided two things : I won't bow before her family that put her under pressure to leave the piece of shit they think I am, I had to talk to her again, and I wanted to laugh again. Fuck metal, fuck depression, fuck death-filled stuff. I got back to my roots : the awful late 90s pop-punk. The old Offspring or Sum 41 never left me, but I wanted something new. And then I opened my 'Punk Rock 101 Emergency' book and BFS appeared to be the right thing at the moment. Awesome record by a normally just average band. Pop punk at its best, humourous but sensitive lyrics about relationships ends, Jaret's perfect voice, undercover hair metal influences (Bon Jovi guys), I was fucking happy while listening to this tunes. I barely listened to this one before, even showed it to her in order to make my rock addiction a little bit less eerie for this old fashioned bourgeoisie offspring, but suddenly all became so true. So thanks BFS !
The Black Pacific - THE BLACK PACIFIC (2010)
Yeah, Epitaph era. Yeah fucking Pennywise from fucking California. Yeah Lindberg left and formed his own band without the rigid rythms of McCackin and Dragge. I also like the Pennywise record with Zoli, and somehow see it as the brother of the 'Black Pacific', but I definitely listened to this one more, despite Zoli's incredible voice. You'll find basic punk rock structures, with some technicity bursts and an almost hip-hop vibe in the singing, plus some remote surf music influences. That's the recipe we Epitaph and Fat Wreck's children grew up with. We might say we've gone away from this stuff, we're just lying. 'When it's over' or 'Living with ghosts' started to mean something else for me during this depressing snowy January. She didn't liked the black thing and thought California was unreachable, she never liked this record, she would never understand what we find in this sound.
Köp Dig Lycklig -URSUT (2016)
She could tolerate pop-punk but what came next in my life kinda terrified her I guess. "It's so violent" she used to say. That's because she grew up in a small catholic rich world, apart from the multicultural post-industrial city her parents live in. She refused to see that the world is sometimes about violence, be it physical, psychological, or nuclear, maybe because her own family is shaped with horrible thoughts (Ostrich...). Crust came naturally in my life, after having discovered the old birtish anarcho-stuff and the fast as hell swedish hardcore (krangpunk) releases. I listened to this one just once while I lived with her, and I told myself that the days weren't grey enough to enjoy such a crusty gem. In february and march I listened to this one nearly each day. You find here anger, desperation but also a will not to give up against the normalist/capitalist/bullshitist dominant part of society. If while listening to such amazing D-beat songs, with just enough of metallish guitar parts, you don't want to scream in pseudo-swedish how much you hate this world and the ones that rule it, then no one can do anything for you. And yeah, they totally ripped off 'For whom the bell tolls' 's bell, but who cares. After all, who are the monsters ?
Live by the code - TERROR (2013)
With my old pals we started as Epitaph brats, then we played some serious hardcore punk. They all liked the american stuff, but at this time I was more into deutschpunk, so when we split up I left the US productions for nearly eight years. Deutschland ruftet. I thought when I got dumped that I would drown myself in german punk, but no. I found myself in this full of testoserone, totally unpolitical dumb US hardcore scene, with likes of Agnostic Front or Madball (two bands the pals didn't dig, they prefered Sick of it all, never understood why) and then their LA's friends. The guy I play with today, used to tell me this was his favourite US hardcore band, and then I figured out why. The first words 'From a broken home..." felt so true, I realized all the shit I went through, all this anger and the pride I had to come from the bottom and not to have bowed before no one. Hardcore punk has the taste of a bitter kid gone finally adult. You can laugh about their cliché sound, about their lyrics on brotherhood, strength and so on, but when I was alone in march, my friends from the old punk days were there for me, like we silently promised us. Moving, at times thrashy (LA...), violent, straight to the point, with a positive message for all the losers society left and breakdowns that will show no mercy, a very good hardcore album. I was hurt, I cried, then came the time to be strong again. That's exactly what Terror expressed on this record, trust in yourself, be hardcore ! Thanks guys !
Welcome to the West Coast II - LIONHEART (2017)
An old friend of mine told once that hardcore was "hip-hop for those who grew up on rock hating hip-hop". My ex was always shocked about how much I knew hip-hop for someone basically hating it. She never understood those things from the streets... Late march I had an other girlfriend for a short while, and my ex saw us and then my ex cried like a kid while the new one laughed at her. That was so heartbreaking that that night the new one dig her own grave. So I decided to be a man, kicked out the new girl and for the fifth and last time in 6 months seeing her every week tried to communicate with my ex. It didn't went the way I expected and that day my ex showed her bitchy side : I was harassing her... Goddam, that was so low from her... The sadness I had melted with my pride and the anger, Lionheart was welcome with its thuggy hardcore. Fuck the leftist morality, I just wanted to express non political discontent and frustration, the way only american hip-hop-influenced hardcore punk knows to do it. The lyrics are awful sometimes, and they're dangerously close to metalcore at some occasions, but those oriental riffs and those breaking rythms where just what I needed. 'Still bitter still cold', 'Thiry years', 'Trial by fire', the highlights of this very good gangsthardcore piece.
Keep them confused - NO USE FOR A NAME (2005)
NOFX is a great band don't get me wrong but they had two distinctive periods. The first one prior to 'Punk in Drublic' with regular almost street punk songs, kinda boring, flat and mediocre for the most of it and the second one after they met Tony Sly who seems to have introduced Fat Mike to tearful riffs full of nostalgia and sorrow. For years I had a blurry picture of NUFAN, but then my old pal from the hardcore days gave me 70 prct of his record collection. And there was this one. I put it in my car, and fuck that feeling came back. I remembered exactly how I felt after it ended with my first love. That bitter sweet moment, when tears are not really here anymore. A this point in april, I hesitated to date a third girl, while still having mixed feelings for my ex. I was done with the hard stuff and got back once more to lighter melodies. Hooking refrains, easy-to-learn structures, I found out why people are missing Tony Sly so much (and not only because of Fat's propaganda). Those riffs, man...
Outlaw anthems - Blood for blood (2002)
"Sorry ladies..." To the contrary of the others on this list, I listened to this one from time to time during those shitfull months. When you start to listen to the real, less-known hardcore bands from the 90s AKA the Golden age of american hardcore punk, there's plenty of hidden gems filled with testosterone and hatred. I hate to say it, but this one's definitely a record "with balls", mainly directed to a frustrated audience. Frustration and the hatred it brings are the backbone of the lyrics here : rejected by women, by the system, by your parents ? Left alone on the streets at night ? Well, this one's for you for sure. Black metal always brags itself about what's trve or not, but c'mon this shit smells even more trveness than a thousand of raw BM LPs. Alright, it's not sweet, it's not subtle at all, but that's what we love ! Hard, dark, violent and hopeless, each song's a rocky punch in your face ! From almost happy and proud of being from the bottom of society tracks ('White trash anthem', 'Ain't like you'), or antisocial unpolitically correct hymns ('Some kind of hate', 'So common, so cheap') to very manly love songs for the real brothers here to bring you up when your face is in the shit (uh...'Love song'), you've got here a definition of what hardcore can bring in life. And what the upper elite will never understand (Fuck them!). One of thoughest record I ever listened to.
That's it, no more, no less. Of course there were more stand alone tracks from different bands coming from differents genres but the main full records are here. The end might have come with her, since we don't talk to each other anymore for months now. Some days regrets are still here and some others freedom prevails. Sure life goes on and so on but who knows one day I'll maybe stop to think this : Sorry pichignon but with what you've done to me : "I don't need your love and I don't need your respect." But one thing's for sure : "I ain't like you" !